Treasure your thoughts...

I was exhausted. But I kept on working on what-I-was-doing. I didnt want to give up because when I woke up that morning, I decided that I will finish what-i-was-doing. I felt anger building up inside me. I didnt care. I continued doing what-i-was-doing, tearing away every obstacle I faced. Sometimes I would pass an annoying comment on a person whod interupt me, or tried to distract me. I needed help, yes. But Noone was helping. What-i-was-doing was way too difficult and tiring for anyone. Noone wanted to get involved. Damn I did Hate Noone for that. And I worked alone. I concentrated on what I was doing. I didnt look away no matter how sick I felt inside. It felt like running in circles.. Doing and Undoing.. Doing and Undoing.. Surpirsingly I had hope.. I could see light.. the end of the tunnel.. somewhere.

I passed an annoying comment to someone who distracted me and thats when I was hated for this by someone else. I could hear a trizillion more annoying comments coming back at me from this nosy someone else. Despite how much I tried stop those words and tried to keep on working.. I could not. It was much more spiteful. I remained silent and wished this someone else would go away. My wish was granted but it left me broken inside. I felt weak. Hurt. Sadness invaded my anger and impatient ness. I still havent looked away. Eyes filled with tears, my vision blurred, I was still looking at what-I-was-doing and moving my trembling hands as if I was still working. I didnt want to shed any tears infront of such cruelty.

That was when the person whom I condemned (PWIC) noticed that I was in grief.. PWIC approached me and fondled me kindly. I somehow found a shoulder to cry on.. I couldn’t hold back my tears. I clasped PWIC and let my pain pour our .. let my tears stream down my face.. Though my pain didn’t go away, I felt happy. I was sad but still.. deep down I was happy. Mixed up emotions. I was happy because someone cared…

Suddenly the room blacked out..I could hear voices.. remote voices “current dhiyaii” . It was a black out alright hehe.. PWIC went to get some candles but couldn’t find any. I walked out and waited outside near the door until PWIC came. It was totally dark.. I leaned on to the door and stared into the darkness. Once in while a motor cycle passed by lightening up the emptiness. After sometime, I started to see..my eyes got adapted with the darkess.. adapted to everything.. I realized that I was feeling numb and tears were still rolling down my face.. It was okay.. Coz I was adapted…

I was walking.. PWIC was walking beside me. Our hands entwined. In safe hands, I felt distant from the brutality of life… I could see dark figures moving around. Blacks and blues.. Maybe it was the moonlight.. Almost everyone were browsing through their phones.. Some kid had a laser light too.. I could hear people talking and laughing.. Slowly I felt myself calm down too.. I was alright.. recovered.. adapted to everything.. modified accordingly to my Life’s dilemmas. Modified to a new person who is numb.. painless.. forgives and forgets. As I entered the shop, I could smile again. I sensed pain inside me, But it didn’t hurt. There was a queue of people who all came to buy candles. I bought myself a soft drink and headed home with PWIC.

On my way back, I smiled and chattered.. I forgot everything.. I was re-set… again.. Half way, the power came back. House after house lightened up like stadium lights, and everything was clear once again. Back to the life full of colors.. I could hear echoes of people ..”current aii” .. The groups of gossipers on the ‘joalis’ and benches disappeared in no time. The boulevard got full with busy people and busy vehicles. I myself got busy with my own life.. with no past.. no future.. jus living for the moment :)

Ps. Thank you PWIC.. I love you a lot

Pss. Is this 'size' enough for you ladies? ;)

Pain, without love

Pain, I cant get enough

Pain, I like it rough

'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

You're sick of feeling numb
You're not the only one
I'll take you by the hand
And I'll show you a world that you can understand
This life is filled with hurt
When happiness doesn't work
Trust me and take my hand
When the lights go out you will understand..

First Kiss